Not long after I found out I was pregnant, I started to imagine my future baby shower. My dreams were crushed when my French husband told me that women in France do not have baby showers. I tried searching online and confirmed what he told me.
While it is not completely unheard of, not many women in France throw a baby shower when they are expecting. Usually those that do hold a baby shower are women who have personally attended one in the US or UK.
It is not that women in France do not think having a baby shower would be fun, it is just they have their own traditions and rituals that conflict with the timing of the baby shower.
Instead of showering the future mamma with gifts before the baby is born, they are usually given gifts at the time of birth. If they were to hold a baby shower, then they would receive double the gifts – making it an expensive ordeal for friends and family, plus they would receive more than they would actually need.
Some mothers in France are finding ways around this by making the baby shower more of a party than a time for gift giving. One French mother in the France 5 forums recommended that expectant mothers throw a baby shower to celebrate the future arrival by having games, food and fun with the girls without asking them to bring gifts. If there is to be gift giving, then ask guests to provide something sentimental. This way friends and family are not overwhelmed with the pressure of buying gifts twice.
I think that baby showers will gain in popularity in France, but not as we know them in the US. The tradition of providing baby items at the time of birth is too ingrained here, so asking friends and family to give gifts twice is too much.
So far there is not a French name for a baby shower – they are referred to simply as “baby showers.” Maybe in time there will be a name coined in French for this type of celebration. But for now, if you would like to have a baby shower in France, you may have to educate friends and family on what the purpose is and what is expected from them.
Image Credit: wAppledot on Flickr.com
Claire says
So in America, you don’t give gifts after the birth? I’m so confused, and I’m not even French!
Cristine says
In the U.S., the baby shower is typically for the giving of gifts, food, a few games & celebration, while the actual birth of the baby is typically marked by sending flowers and cards to the hospital or home where the proud parents and baby are.
L.A. Fortune says
I organised a baby shower a few weeks before the birth of my daughter back in 2009. It was in the exact spirit you described : a get together with girlfriends, eat cake, play some games along the theme of babies and motherhood, and generally have fun together on what was to be the last occasion for me as a “young woman without children”.
I specifically told everyone NOT to even dare bring any kind of present (a lot of them were familiar with Anglosaxon culture and traditions). A lot of it was actually to do with superstition : I would not have wanted to receive presents for a baby which was not born yet.
Some people in France call a baby shower a “fête prénatale”. It is indeed becoming more and more “popular” thanks to companies along the lines of wedding planners, who take care of all the organisation and make it quite a social event, beyond the intimate context of a gathering among friends. For that reason, I see it remaining quite a “yuppy” attraction.
And another thing, in France women are quite often put on sick leave fairly early on in their pregnancy, told to rest, stay in bed, reduce their level of activity etc. So for a lot of them, the last thing they want to do is party (and have to organise it) in the later stage of their pregnancy!! 😉
Ogynbg says
🙂 Hello, everybody!
Well, I am pretty sure the baby shower is called “fête prénatale” in France and I have also heard of the believing that it is of no good to give presents to/for an unborn child.
In fact I am a Bulgarian married in France and I have celebrated the “fête prénatale” after my son was born – at the age of 1, but not before… I love to be in contact with people from the third age and you can call me superstitious, but I just find myself curious to preserve the cultural habits which are unique and really interesting for each and every country. Globalization is good, having in mind that both parents would like to preserve a part of their social background through a variety of acts throughout the years we raise up our children…but on this exact point, I’d rather accept the ancient French way of celebrating the baby shower for it has a deeper spiritual thread with my inner believes…
Finally, I’d just add that I love all the good things coming from the States, UK and elsewhere…Cultural diversity is the best when one gets to know it in its deepest scopes and keeps away from “Fashion” 🙂
Congratulations for the articles! I really like your writing 🙂
Mary Wallman says
Hi all, I was given a gift of a stuffed animal: a cow, that has little pink ribbons on its hind legs. I recall being told it was some French tradition. Does anyone have any info on this?
-Thanks
Mary Wallman says
–it was a gift concerning my baby’s birth.
paula says
I have a theory on this… I am English and it is actuallytraditionaly unlucky for us to offer a gift for a baby in advance of the baby’s birth. Most people ignore this but some people even put off buying things for their own baby or keep practical things bought in avance of the birth in someone-else’s (usually a family members) home. I guess old countries have traditions that reflect the fact that in the past there really was a very strong chance that babies and Mothers might not survive to being happy Mummy and baby and if they do the chances are that the family have sturdy made to be used again and again for years to come baby stuff that is handed down the family so nothing was needed or maybe more crucially – wanted.
In contrast The USA, being a newer culture has developed traditions based on modern healthcare and lovely shops with lovely baby things and a culture where family may not be close anymore and old family handmedowns may have been lost on route to the New World thus a society ripe for a baby shower – where it is more likely the child and Mother will survive and meaningful friends will want to go to pretty shops and buy lovely things that will be received with great joy just before the birth.
JENNIFER says
Are French Canadian baby gift customs the same as in France? Are baby showers not customary?
Alain says
I would thonk that we do not celebrate baby shower in France because anything could happen until the actial birth of a Child. It seems safer to celebrate only after the child is actually born.